The Ramblings of the Almost Insane

School has been driving me slowly crazier and crazier.  Add life on top of that, and I'm surprised more of us seniors don't go running down the road screaming at the top our lungs.  I dropped Latin this week. That was a disappointment for me. I really was enjoying Latin, but it was just beyond my comprehension right now.  The charts were vague things I could almost memorize, and though I had most of the terms, it was killing me with the stress.  Sadly to say, I think this semester I have finally hit my breaking point.

Monday, I went and my test score... a 68%.  I have never done quite that badly before and I had to tell myself not to cry about ten times. I seriously debated till Tuesday night and decided it was the best overall to drop it. I was spending so much time stressing, studying and memorizing for Latin that I was ignoring other more important things in my class. I was also so stressed that I was mostly just wanting to run around like a chicken with my head cut off, or crawl into my bed in a nest of covers and not come out.  Pathetic, but true.  My other classes, especially Senior Seminar, are more important to me and my major. Plus, due to my other classes, I couldn't take Latin 2 next semester either.  Latin is gone for now, but maybe during graduate school, I can retake it and actually have time to proceed onto Latin 2.Vale, Latin.

Otherwise, I met with my professor for Senior Seminar, and I'm working with some new parameters for my research. That's what I'm going to start on soon.  We changed the centuries a bit and what exactly I'm working towards. I have a new hobbit journal, and that's what I'm keeping track of. I'm finally onto something, I think and I'm really excited about all of this. It isn't just a project, it might be what I research for life, and what I become a true Historian doing.  Historian in Progress and all that jazz - see it's really my future.

Other than that, not a lot has happened. Oh, well my car dying. Which I'm pretty sure I've talked about. My father-in-law has burnt out all the gas, but my fuel injectors are royally screwed up. They are eighty dollars a piece and there are four. He's going to try to rebuild them and save lots of money. Because, in order to afford another car and the loan to get it, I really need to sell this one. -sighs-  It all sucks. I'm spending the week with a friend next week because otherwise I have no way to get to school or work. Oh they joys of being me.

Oh - I'm obsessed with this song and the version by Hyuna. It's awesome. I so badly want to organize a flash mob. I can't dance in front of people unless I'm drunk though, plus I'd have to organize it and learn the dance. Ha. Wish me luck.  Still, LISTEN! LOVE! BECOME OBSESSED!!!!!!!  AND THE VIDEO IS AWESOME LOL FUNNY!

Yesterday, Heather waited for me and took me to B&N so I wouldn't be at Cherry till after four.  On our way down the hill, she saw Abraham Lincoln (It's a statue on a bench) and he's looking all adoringly into the air.
Heather: I bet a lot of people take their picture with him.
Me: Yep, you could sit and gaze at him all lovingly.
Heather: I'd put my hand on his crotch.

I just died laughing.  We seriously need to take that picture.  Later, we were at B&N, and I found a book with Abraham Lincoln on it. I raised it up, looked at her and raised my eyebrows. She was like, "Fallon, seriously? You are such a history major."

She completely missed the joke.

I saw Perks of Being A Wallflower last night. It was an amazing movie, and I remember finally reading the book now but I seriously need to reread it again. I also read an article where Emma Watson said she wanted to make the movie because it could keep people from hurting themselves.  I won't go into detail about the movie, but you really should see it. It's all about coming of age, pain, buried memories, and the trauma they can inflict later in life.  Even suicide.  Coming from my past and my life, I've thought about suicide a few times. I would never have the courage to do it, I want to live too much. But I understand it. I've written about it.  This movie, this book, it really speaks to it though. Speaks to it so much that you don't have to understand it, it doesn't have to bellow it out loud, but it whispers the message to you. It's beautiful. Simple as that.