Will of the Wasteful

Today I bought The Hiding Place by Dr. David J. Bell, a former professor of mine.  I read his first book Cemetery Girl and quite loved it. I am looking forward to reading this when I have a chance. Or when I'm putting something else off.  Anyways, I went down to his office to get him to sign it, and he began asking the inevitable questions of "How are you" - "Okie dokie" (Really, Fallon, really? Okie dokie.  That's your answer?)  and then, "So what are your plans?"

Ah. My plans. I outlined my wonderful plans of attending Grad School for Student Affairs, working at WKU and getting either my History Masters or English Masters for free (Yes, which one is now up for debate). Then he says, "And writing? I don't care about all the other stuff, what about writing?"

And there's the kicker.  I love to write. Have loved to write for as long as I can remember.  How much fiction writing have I done since I left his class last spring? About fifteen pages.  If you include my blog, I've actually written quite a bit but none of it is fiction. It's all, hey this is my life... this is what I'm doing... oh, look, a really AWESOME blog, and then... more random crap. Like this :P  So, why am I not writing?

That's the question, isn't it? I'm not sure I have an answer. My worst habit is finishing anything that doesn't have a due date. Giving myself a due date doesn't work. I tried to start a writing group but that fell through for a number of reasons. Maybe I can actually get it going this summer.  Other than that... well. I think I lost faith.  Over the past few years I've run into so many amazing writers, and sometimes I just didn't measure up.  I also never got the grade I wanted for my writing in classes.  Amazing how a grade can just make you want to rip everything up and say "To hell with it."  I wish I was the exact opposite.  I think that's my new goal. "HA! I GOT IT PUBLISHED! BOO YA!" should become one of my phrases.

So, Dr. Bell asked what I was doing when I was wasting my time. That's an easy answer. TV!  (By the way, he's never seen Dr. Who. I mean, COME ON!).  I'm trying to cut back on my tv time and it's gotten easier lately because I've watched just about everything I had to watch.... (about ten series later...). I have wasted so much time. That's the saddest thing. I look back and I'm like... I just spent ten hours doing... nothing.  It wouldn't be hard to write a little bit every night.  I have this amazing idea for a novel (at least I think so) and I would love to write it.  Maybe this was just the final push I needed.  I'm determined, and we shall see how long that will last... but dang it, I'm determined. I've got to start writing again.  I loved it.  I love it. 

*Raises imaginary drink way too early in the afternoon*  "Here's to writing!"