Worried Indeed

Well, I had a million things I wanted to talk about, but suddenly all I can think of is my future.  I was trying to not be too freaked out about it, but of course someone posted about being accepted into grad school (and congrats to them!) but it just reminded me of all the uncertainties. Truth be told, I'm scared.  It's daunting facing what I will after I graduate next spring, from picking a program for my masters to getting my PhD and finding a job.  On top of that, I need to pick an historical time period to specialize in and I can't even do that at the moment.  One of my professors, who has taken up guiding me along this semester and kept me from an emotional break down, told me not to worry about it yet.  So this is my blog to pour out my worries so I can get through the next two weeks and do all the work I have to.

WKU's history grad program does not pay your tuition and so if I decide to go there, as I always planned, I will be 40,000 dollars in debt.  If I find another program and get a full ride, then I will be saved on money but will either have to commute quite a ways, or move, as well as learn a whole new staff and campus. To top that off, I really wanted to get my English Masters as well as my History Masters and then my PhD in something. I have always dreamed of being a professor and one way or another I will.

On a good note: http://www.bls.gov/ooh/education-training-and-library/postsecondary-teachers.htm

So my job future looks average... Yep.  I think it's all topped off with the fact that I'm stressed out over finals, and papers.  Tomorrow I'm spending hours reading and working out a layout for my fifteen page paper that is due next Thursday.  Then I plan to write it Sunday. I think it will be okay... so less worry.

Well that feels better.  Now on to more fun topics! I'm going to a drag show tomorrow night with my sister, sister-in-law and some friends.  It will be great, and I even bought new shoes!

Even if they are a bit Stripperish, I love them :P Abbie told me that they were somehow not stripperish on me, but were cute on me, lol.  I said they match my spastic self.  They are fun, PURPLE! and sparkly! Perfect for a drag show as well.  I even found these socks that have a soft padding for the front of the foot so that it doesn't hurt to wear heels for a long time!  Yay :)

For a different note, I was watching Grey's Anatomy and literally cried my eyes out. So, if you haven't watched the new episode, you should.  It's amazing, and I cannot imagine feeling the way some of the characters did on this episode. Ever.

I've also decided that when school is out I'm throwing a party for me and a few of my girlfriends.  To release stress and celebrate, we will dress up, put on makeup, fix our hair, blare very loud music, and dance around like crazy idiots. I shall turn my own living room into a club without annoying idiots around! It shall be quite a bit of fun!

I believe that is the end of my blog for this day, and I think you all and the world wide web for helping me get rid of a few of my worries.